just because someone else has already done it is no excuse not to do it

When you catch urself in zombie mode, don’t apply force. Just describe your experience out loud. Ur whole system will catch up on it and naturally shift course.

“I am doomscrolling for three hours already. I wanted to do x y or z but I’m too tired for all of them so I got stuck here. Now I’m wondering what I actually have energy for that would be good. […]”

The process of becoming yourself is not a corporate desk job, and it is not homework, and it is not an unticked box languishing on a to-do list. You do not have to treat your flaws like action items that must be systematically targeted and eliminated in order to receive a return on investment. You have no supervisor; you should not be punished when you fail. Your job is not to lock the doors and chisel at yourself like a marble statue in the darkness until you feel quantifiably worthy of the world outside. Your job, really, is to find people who love you for reasons you hardly understand, and to love them back, and to try as hard as you can to make it all easier for each other. 

there isn’t actually a correct answer re: how to do this, the correctness is something that emerges.

Almost everything that is meaningful, beautiful, life-affirming, empowering, transformational, true—it can’t be reached by shortcuts. But what we can do is make the longcuts walkable, put out footbridges and stairs, and a table where the ocean comes into view.

surround yourself with people who fight for you in rooms you aren’t in

the change comes less from the small act itself and more from what the small act represents, which is a commitment to the idea that you have agency, and thus that life is changeable, and thus that life is more worthy than you might have previously thought.

unpleasant experiences will happen.
that’s life.
don’t take them personally.
don’t victimize yourself.
don’t panic or waste your energy getting angry.