I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go
Can’t do it alone
I’ve tried, and I don’t know why

17/10/2022

I want to live at the Holiday Inn
Where somebody else makes the bed
We’ll watch TV while the lights on the street
Put all the stars to death

17/10/2022

Repeat to yourself that they’re not really gone
Time has proven
That fooling yourself into believing a lie
Is the most effective way
To deal with things you have no control over

Keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
Overanalyze every single word you hear
“Was this a sign that things were going wrong”
No no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them

Stay up every single night staring at your phone
Either attempting to gather up the courage
To turn these demons, these constant reminders
Of your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream
Or praying just for one second you could feel
The warmth of equally returned love

Go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
Always bring your notebook, never stop writing
Leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
Watch them smile as you get in your car

Talk down on yourself whenever possible
My life is shit because I deserve it, right?
You must have done something real bad
Its nearly impossible for you to cry now

Avoid your friends for weeks even though
They’re the only sense of consistency you have
Left in your life, if they really wanted
To see you they’d come, but they won’t (who cares?)

Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
Watch as you begin to take a backseat
To the world around you, don’t fight it
Become a secondary character in your own motion picture

But most importantly
Drown every single one of your feelings
In old stolen rum
Learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat
Find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach
You’re drinking bottled love now

You don’t need other people to drive away your loneliness
You just needed to find a way to talk to it

28/08/2022